Little Miss Sera

I couldn't sleep last night. I was thinking about Sera. Just before Johan dozed off to dreamland, we had a thoughtful discussion about Sera. I told Johan him about how she stands aside and watched when at the playground, especially when there was more than one child playing. So let's say if there were two kids going down the slide. She'd won't join it despite me urging her to do so. She'd walk away and do her own things - pick up twigs, find odd pieces of things or practise her balancing on the narrow cement curb.

However, she'd be ok if there was just one kid ... she'd join in with little hesitation.

Ok, what is my point? None really. Just my observation and yah, I'm a little concerned maybe because I wonder how she is at school these days. I've spoken to Ms Trish about Sera's involvement in school and yes, she did say that Sera was more the observer and sometimes, she'd drift away from the crowd if she felt she didn't want to be involved or was BORED. Gulp. When Ms Trish shared that information with me, I groaned inwardly, because it was ME ... exaclty me when I was young. I wasn't so good with group (controlled) settings. I got easily distracted and I always went quietly into my own space, my 'bubble'. I mean, Johan still calls me a bubble for goodness sake. I always laugh it away but now that it concerns my daughter, my Sera ... sigh, I do worry ... a little.

I look at her, this little girl just four months shy of her 3rd birthday and I do marvel at how much she has grown, especially since Yas came along. In a way, she was 'forced' to grow up even faster and be more helpful around the house. And honestly, when I think about how helpful she's been to me, it just blows my mind. These past two days, she was off from school. I was a little worried about having to cope with the two girls, especially since Sera was having a stomach flu. But she was her usual Little Miss Helpful. She ran to do my bidding in a flash, whether it was getting a diaper, a bib, or a toy for Yas. And if we were going out for a walk, she'd get dressed (all by herself), put on her socks and shoes and she'd be ready at the door, holding it while I push the stroller through it.

I'm really not blowing her trumpet here but it's more a reflection on my part and also my need as a mother to stop and smell the roses, in this case, to appreciate my daughters everyday despite the other 101 things that I have to do during the day. I need to be more aware and praise her, more often, for the little things that I've so easily taken for granted, like how she throws her banana peels or her empty yogurt pots into the bins without instruction. How she eagerly lines the bins with plastic bags or refills the toilet paper rolls in our bathrooms. Ha ha. It sounds almost like child labour but believe me, she always does it with a smile and it becomes a little achievement for her when it gets done.

So I did eventually fall asleep though I had this strong urge to go into Sera's room and give her a big, tight hug. I didn't, knowing she'd crawl into our bed in the middle of the night anyway. Yes, this girl has perseverance for sure. By hook or by crook (even with a stomach flu) she'd find her way into our warm bed every night. Am I going to worry if she feels left out at the playground or at school? Yah, sure ... as a mother I'd continue to worry about these little things but then, I have to trust and have faith that if she does wonder alone into her own 'bubble' or let's call it her 'secret garden', she finds all her friends that her imagination can conjure up.